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When Aly was born in Feb. 09, I went into it like every other first time mom. I had a "birth plan" all written out, and I was determined to go natural. My water broke at 1:13am on February 18, 2009 and in my excitement I went to the hospital much too quickly. I spent a couple hours in triage where they checked to make sure my water had really broken (seriously? even *I* couldn't pee my pants that much!) and then found me a room. I was only about 1-2cm dilated and not contracting much on my own. It took hours of me laying in bed for them to decide I could walk, and they only let me walk for about 45min before they decided it wasn't happening fast enough and started me on some "vitamin p" (aka: pitocin). Brandon declared it "gator bait" and though I wasn't excited about it, (and it was clear on my birth plan that I didn't want it) I figured they must know what they're doing. (Stupid....stupid, stupid!) I had heard about hospitals and their time constraints, but I didn't think I'd be exposed to it. Aly was moving all over the place and they couldn't keep her on the external monitor, so they put her on an internal monitor. Again in my naivete, I didn't realize that would stay on until she was born and that that was more or less, the beginning of the end. Once they started the pit, they insisted on keeping me on an IV, and then once the internal monitor was placed, I could only get up to use the restroom. SO frustrating. Of course I was in a ton of pain once the pitocin had me contracting regularly, but I was still set on no pain meds and even though I had told all the nurses this, they continued to ask me if I wanted anything for the pain. Truly, all I wanted was to punch them and have them not come back. This continued for hours...me screaming in pain (along with a few choice 4-letter words...) and not progressing. After about 16hrs, the doc came in to check me and I was only at 4cm. She decided then that I should have a c-section. I was so upset. We knew she was a big baby and I knew there was a possibility, but I really thought I could do it on my own.
They stopped the pitocin and I signed all the papers and drank the nasty crap they make you drink. I set my boundaries, (insert spinal...THEN place catheter lol) and they wheeled me off to the OR. The spinal was the worst part of the entire experience. I have a VERY twitchy back, and the anesthesiologist was NOT a fan. It felt like it took forever for him to get it placed. Finally they laid me down and let the meds take effect. They pinched my belly to make sure I was numb and must've put the cath in then. They got the little barrier up and brought Brandon in. At 9:44pm, my little (BIG) girl was brought into this world. I'll never forget her first cry.
They brought her over to the warming bed and got her apgars (9 and 9) and daddy got to cut the cord.
Finally, they wrapped her up and gave her to Brandon who brought her over to me.
The OR nurse was amazing! She took my camera and was so awesome taking these photos for us. I couldn't believe how beautiful my little girl was. After not long enough, they wanted to take her to the nursery. They wheeled her out and apparently everyone else in the family who was in the waiting room got to hold her before I did. If I had known they were going to do that, I never would have allowed it. I don't mind that they got to hold her...but I do mind that I hadn't gotten to hold her yet. Of course I got to hold her in recovery....and it was perfect. She was everything I imagined she would be.
Now, more than 3yrs later, she still is ;-)
I'm hoping by writing down her birth story, it will help me heal and let go and get over the fact that her birth wasn't what I had planned...but she still got here safely and now I have a beautiful, healthy, perfect 3yr old little girl who's smarter than I am. I understand all this...but I really want to believe it in my heart, because in about 4mo, I'll do it all over again. And while this time, I'm even more prepared for a c-section and know that it is a VERY real possibility after the first one, I still am hoping to get a chance to do it on my own. This time though, I know what can happen, and I know what to request....and I'm fully prepared for this 2nd baby girl to come into the world in whatever way is safest for her. We're preparing for another large baby (probably 10+lbs) and I know we'll get her here safely. I know that I'm doing my job right now...growing her big and strong and keeping her as healthy and safe as I can while she's all mine!
She's jumping around in my belly and I can't wait to meet her! And I know her big sister is just as excited as I am. She loves to feel her kick and talks to her. Nothing brings on the mommy waterworks like my big girl talking to her unborn baby sister!!
Only about 17wks left! If she's like her big sister, then only about 16wks! lol There's so much to do to get ready, and yet, I'm so excited. I can't wait to hold another baby in my arms...(BEFORE everyone else, thank you very much lol).
Happy Monday to anyone who may be reading. I look forward to keeping up with this more and more. I especially want a record of my girls learning to be sisters together. :-)
